


love personified

by MrsNoraPalmer



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: Brief Mention of Alcoholism, F/F, F/M, Gen, and be slightly confusing if you haven't read things i've learned from a broken mirror, and feelsy at the end, but it's mostly adorable at the beginning, but will also probably hurt, i love my palmer family, palmer family, this will be cute
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-14
Updated: 2019-02-14
Packaged: 2019-10-28 14:14:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,192
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17788925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MrsNoraPalmer/pseuds/MrsNoraPalmer
Summary: Victoria Palmer grows up seeing her parents as love personified. They just work together. She wants nothing more than a love like that and as she grows up, she struggles to find it, to let herself have it, and once she does, she only just learns what a love like that could bring.





	love personified

**Author's Note:**

> okay SO basically i wanted to write something for Valentine's Day. I was going to write Ray and Nora's first Valentine's Day together BUT this came to mind instead and suddenly my brain was like WRITE THIS NOW. So here we are. If you have not read The Things I've Learned from a Broken Mirror, the last like two scenes might confuse you but basically time travel and fix-its, that's why. Just keep that in mind. It ends with a happy ending anyways, so really, will you care? Probs not. xD I tried to work in as much actual darhkatom as much as I could but I ended up really being in my Tori feels and well here we are... 
> 
> As per usual I blame these following hooligans: Beth, Soph, and Dee.

I.  
Her mother was putting away groceries when it happened. The radio was on in the kitchen and a slow song came on. Tori, age five, looked up from her place drawing at dining room table to see her father gently taking the box of pancake mix from her mother’s hand and pulling her into his arms. She watched her mother roll her eyes and utter a soft _Ray_ as they started to sway together.

A song about wise men and fools floated through the atmosphere as Tori watched her parents seemingly in their own world dance together. They were muttering quietly to one another and Tori watched her mother peek over at her and smiled happily. Something about this moment stayed with Victoria for the rest of her life.

She watched her father dip her mother at the end of the song, her mother letting out a wild gasp as her father righted her in his arms. They shared a kiss at an angle they thought Tori couldn’t see and she smiled brightly at them. Watching them was better than any Disney movie she had seen.

II.  
“Daddy!!! You promised you’d help me make my mailbox for class!” Eight year old Victoria Palmer dragged her father into the living room where her mother was already setting up the arts and crafts supplies. Red, pink, white, and purple construction paper, jars upon jars of glitter and sequins, and craft glue littered the table along with a shoebox.

Ray laughed at his daughter and settled next to her with Nora on his other side. “Okay, Tori-Bear, what would you like for your Valentine’s Day mailbox to look like?”

Tori tapped a finger to her lips and thought for a moment. “Let’s make the whole box purple! And then decorate it with pink and white and red hearts!”

Ray nodded. “What would you like me to do?”

“Hmm daddy can you cut the hole on the top of the box for the valentines? And then can you glue the purple paper onto the box?”

“Sure thing, pumpkin.” He kissed the top of her head and looked at Nora who was showing Tori how to cut hearts out of construction paper. He observed mother and daughter, his heart swelling at Nora’s gentle instruction and encouragement. Tori cut out a not exactly heart looking heart and Nora cheered that Tori had done it.

“That looks amazing, baby girl!” Nora high fived her daughter. “Let’s get all of these hearts cut out and we’ll glue them on the box once daddy is done.

“Okay!” Tori observed her parents exchanging glances through the whole ordeal. Eventually, her mother ended up in her father’s lap and she kept warning him if he didn’t stop stroking her side, she would glue his hands together.

Tori giggled as her mother smeared glue on the side of her father’s face and stuck a handful of sequins to it. When her mother pulled her hand away, her father had a gittery cheek which only made Tori laugh harder. She had so many friends tell her at school that their mommies and daddies fought. She never saw her parents fight. She heard them being sad, even crying sometimes, but they never raised their voices to each other when Tori or her siblings were around. They were always a mommy and daddy who loved each other.

III.  
Loving Helena was easy. They’d been practically raised together as children. Helena was two years older than her and every time that her parents would travel from Gotham to Star City, Tori and Helena would _beg_ their moms to let them have a sleepover.

As they got older, Tori began to notice how she would _feel things_ for both boys and girls. She wasn’t sure why until one day, at fourteen, she and Helena were sitting in her room and she kissed her. She wasn’t sure what compelled her to do it, but kissing Helena felt right. And because they’d known each other for so long, loving her in this new romantic sense felt easy.

Needless to say, when they told their parents they were dating, Nora and Selina had nearly started sobbing. They were thrilled, saying that they had joked about this once when the girls were very young and couldn’t be more happy that it actually happened. Helena took Tori to prom that year and when Tori’s prom rolled around, she took Helena.

But eventually, Tori learned a lesson, love can fade. It surprised her because her parents just always seemed to work. That they were made for each other. But when she felt herself growing apart from Helena, she talked to her mom. And she learned some incredibly important information.

Her mother wasn’t her father’s first fiancee, not even his second, but his third. She learned about Anna Loring, a kind, overachieving, outgoing, activist that her father had met in college. They had dated for an incredibly long time before becoming engaged in 2011. In 2014, she was killed, murdered by Deathstroke, and that death had propelled her father to become the A.T.O.M. Then there was Felicity Smoak. A name that was practically banned in the Palmer household. Tori never learned why until now. After losing Anna, her father had tried to open himself up to love again, only to have Felicity choose someone else: Oliver Queen (a name just as equally banned in the Palmer house).

Then, there was Kendra Saunders. A literal goddess that her father had dated just after becoming a Legend. They’d been stranded in time and her father had been _so ready_ to build a life with Kendra but when they returned to the present, that wasn’t what she had wanted. And their relationship came to an end. There had also been something about Kendra finding her soulmate’s next reincarnation thrown in there to also add insult to injury. It wasn’t for another two years that her mother and father had met. And they started out as enemies. She vaguely knew that after learning about some of the terrible things her grandfather had done. But her father always fought for her mother. And that unfailing hope in her blossomed into love, which eventually led to marriage, and her and her siblings.

Her father was her mother’s first relationship. Helena was Tori’s first relationship. She figured that because her mother and Selina had been so excited when they started dating and how well they seemed to initially fit together, this must be it for her. “Helena and Tori together 4eva” had been doodled immaturely on many, many notebooks in high school. And now, as their lives were drifting apart, so was their relationship.

Her mother’s words finally pushed Tori to sit down with Helena. To Tori’s surprise, she’d been feeling the drift as well. Tori had been worried that this was all in her head, that Helena would be upset, or Tori wasn’t fighting hard enough. But it was true and it was also perfectly okay that love fades sometimes. And Tori learned that, so they parted romantically.

IV.  
Two am rolled around a lot faster than Sober Tori had thought it would. Drunk Tori now realized that two am was instead a state of mind. One that left a person standing outside of a now closed bar in the pouring rain. Her mind was numb except for the rolling feeling of alcohol coursing through her veins. She walked silently down the street to the park her parents would always take her and her siblings to and eased herself onto a swing in the empty playground.

She started to kick at the ground gently with her feet, not to fully swing, the motion might make all of the alcohol she’d consumed in the past six hours come back up, but instead just to gently sway, a motion similar to the swaying her father would pull her mother into when there was a romantic song on the radio or even when there wasn’t music. Sometimes she’d watch as he’d get a look in his eye and wrap her mother up in his arms saying _I have to dance with you right now, Nora_ and she’d laugh and reply _Right now, Ray?_ And he’d just kiss her in reply.

A love like that was once in a lifetime. One for the ages. The love story had ended too soon by people who had manipulated her mother her entire life. Tori swallowed hard and closed her eyes, letting the rain mix with her tears. It was five years to the day that she had lost them. She can still remember the look on Sara’s and Ava’s faces when Tori came back from taking her siblings to the mall, what better way to celebrate not having to go to school, whatever the reason. Something had been up. And from that moment on, Victoria Eleanor Palmer was the reigning Palmer. She would take on each and every responsibility that her parents left behind, no matter how much Sara and Ava stepped in, and she would put every want and aspiration aside to care and protect her family. Protect them in a way she couldn’t protect her parents.

Sara had initially been hesitant to train Tori but it was either punching bad guys or reaching for a bottle. After that argument, Sara had agreed, not realizing that Tori had still been reaching for a bottle under the cover of night. She tried to be present with her siblings, Penny especially, who missed their parents probably most of all. She had dealt with nightmares for almost a year after their parents died, whereas Tori’s only lasted a few months, same with Sydney and Danny. She would let Penny crawl into her bed, putting aside any aggravation, any differences they’d had and just be there and comfort her in a way her parents no longer could.

Tori was only 22 but felt like she’d lived an entire lifetime of pain and regret. Regret for reaching for a bottle so often, regret for not being there enough for her siblings, pain from all the bad guys she’d decided to fight instead of being there for them. Pain from losing her parents and closing herself off to any possibility of love. Because a love like her parents was a one in a million kind of love. And it just wasn’t meant for her. Everything had gone wrong in her life, she also had a dangerous secret that bringing anyone into the fold about would only inch them closer to their own premature death.

But there was Adam. The dorky intern who was almost as smart as her father. In college at age 14 (the same age as her), she’d watch him grow from lanky pimple faced Palmer Tech intern to tall, handsome, broad chested, and still incredibly intelligent. His glo-up didn’t seem to change his inside. Only his outside, and she knew that everyone in the building had taken notice as well. After her father passed, Adam stayed on, being there for Tori in ways that she hadn’t experienced in so long. Her and Helena’s relationship felt like a lifetime ago, even if they’d just broken up the year before. Adam’s friendship was safe and he knew her secret. So he was her anchor.

The anchor that was apparently in love with her. He’d let it slip one day. She’d been talking about how this day was coming up and how her parents love was a thing of the movies. How love like that just wasn’t realistic anymore. Someone to fight for you, love you past all the demons you carried, help you conquer them. That just wasn’t possible. And then he’d said _It could be possible with me._ The thought had initially made her recoil, surely he wasn’t meaning it in a romantic sense? And then the thought of Adam twirling her around their kitchen much like she’d seen her father do with her mother so many times. Making a Valentine’s Day mailbox with their daughter and ending up in a sequin fight. Quietly crying together when life was hard. Holding each other in a way that made the other feel safe and at home.

He was offering that to her and the thought literally terrified her. It terrified her for him because loving a superhero was no easy task. It terrified her for her because she’d be filled with no end of guilt if something happened to him because of her line of work. It terrified her for him because she came with _so much baggage_ who would want an alcoholic superhero who was shitty sibling and only sometimes a good person? It terrified her for her because she was in such disbelief that he’d seriously want someone with that much baggage.

And somehow Tori found herself leaving the swings and making her way down a familiar path. She let her muscle memory carry her because making conscious decisions was exhausting at this point. She was starting to sober up but if she let herself consciously make this decision, she’d chicken out, and she knew that.

She climbed the stairs, soaking them from her rain drenched body up to the door. She sucked in a deep breath and knocked on the door.

“Tori?” Adam drank in the sight of seemingly intoxicated and incredibly upset Victoria Palmer, who was also sopping wet from the rain.

“I want… I want a love like my parents’ to be possible. With you.” And then she kissed him. She threw herself into his arms, not caring that her body was no doubt soaking his pajamas.

Adam pulled away and looked at her curiously. “Tori… you’re drunk we shouldn’t…”

“I’m sober enough to know that I want to give us a shot, Adam. I know I’m probably not in the best headspace to do anything else other than say that but I needed to.”

Adam simply nodded and pulled her into a hug.

The next morning Tori found herself in Adam’s bed. She shot up and checked her clothing. She’d been changed into a Palmer Tech sweatshirt and a pair of sweatpants much too large for her. Her clothes were laying out on various pieces of furniture drying. Her head was pounding.

She saw Adam walk in with a tall glass of water and a couple of asprin and the night started floating back to her. She’d changed into the sweats he had provided and as she fell asleep in his bed, he had laid out her clothes to dry. From the cold feeling of the other side of the bed she had remembered he’d taken the couch as well. Ever the gentleman.

Tori took the water and medicine and quickly downed the pills. She sat the glass on the bedside table and pulled her knees into her chest. “Morning.”

“How did you sleep?”

“Okay… sleep I get the night before and the night of is always pretty rough. But it was better than years past.” She placed a hand on top of his. “Thank you. For everything.”

“Loving you has never been hard, Tori. I know you have stuff, terrible stuff that’s happened, and your life isn’t the most simple but falling in love with you was one of the most inevitable conclusions I’ve ever come to.”

“I think… I know… that I feel the same way, I just… I’ve been alone for so long and I have a family I already suck at being responsible for, and I have a city to protect… I just… I don’t know if I am allowed to have this.”

“Tori, you’re allowed to have whatever you want, within reason of course, I mean I might be a little biased but if you want this, us, you’re allowed to have that. And anyone that says otherwise will have to answer to me. Even if you’re the one that could probably hex them into like a pig or something.”

Tori let out a small laugh and crawled into Adam’s lap. He chuckled and wrapped his arms around her waist. She placed her hands at the base of his neck and smiled.

“Well hello.” He grinned.

“My mom would do this when she wanted to distract my dad from work. His office was down the hall from Penny and I’s bedroom and I’d walk past it to get to our room and sometimes the door would be open and I’d see them just sitting there, quietly, clearly having a private moment, just being them. Just being in love and I always wanted that. I thought maybe I’d have that with Helena but we ended up just growing apart. And then you walked into my life and were there through every single moment of the greatest pain I’d ever felt in my life. I don’t know why I didn’t fall in love with you sooner.” She carded her fingers through the black hair at the nape of his neck. “Or maybe I did and I just didn’t let myself feel it until now. I love you, Adam.”

“I love you too, Tori.” He pulled her into a soft kiss. “And I think that these things just take time, and we’ll go at whatever pace you want.”

V.  
Ten fingers. Ten toes. Jet black hair. Wild curls. Ten hours of labor. Worth it. She looked from the tiny bundle in her arms up to her husband and he pressed a kiss to her forehead. She looked to her other side to her mother and father. Her father had a teddy bear tucked under his arm and her mother’s hands were clenching and unclenching, clearly itching to hold her granddaughter.

“Sara, you wanna go to Nana?” Tori whispered softly and looked up at her mother.

Nora grinned and opened her arms for the small bundle to be placed in her arms. Nora settled Sara into her arms and kissed her forehead. “Hello there, my darling granddaughter.”

Tori felt Adam’s hand on her shoulder and she took it in her own hand, lacing their fingers together as they watched Nora with little Sara.

“Tori… she’s perfect. You did an amazing job. I’m so proud of you, Tori-Bear.” Nora smiled.

Tori met her mother’s smile at the use of her childhood nickname. “Yeah… I like her, I think I’ll keep her.”

Nora chuckled. “Not if I take you back to Nana and Poppy’s house and keep you forever.” Nora said in a baby talk voice.

“I think that’s a sign that little Sara-bear needs to come see her grandpa.” Ray sat the gifts down and Nora passed Sara to Ray, rolling her eyes. “She gets that look in her eye and I spend the next two years changing diapers.”

Nora swatted her husband’s arm. “Excuse me, I have grandbabies to fuss over now, don’t you even start, Ray Palmer.”

Tori laughed at her parents’ teasing. She leaned back against Adam’s chest and he dropped a kiss to her shoulder.

“Think that’ll be us in thirty years?” He murmured.

Tori turned her face to meet his and kissed him softly. “It better be.”


End file.
